Thursday, July 2, 2015

2:30am and Becoming You.

I have been sitting in front of this screen for more than 20 mins figuring out how to write this. It's not easy to put into words when you can't even understand what's going on. So I'm not going to edit this or second guess what I'm writing. It's going to be raw as fuck and probably won't make sense to most of you. 

It's funny how a while back I had a clear vision of what I wanted to achieve, what I wanted to do after school and even after college. I have started second guessing myself if that is really what I want to do. Thinking about it for more than 3 months now, i realised I don't want to pursue that. And by "that" I mean design. 
I am not at all saying that art doesn't make me happy anymore or I can't put my thoughts onto paper. It's just that I have found something that scares me and excites me at the same time. Something I will not get bored of even if I do it for 60 years. And that's travelling. How will you earn money to travel? Where will you live? What's your plan? To be honest, I do not know. And I think I probably won't until I actually start doing it. 

Saying that I've lost passion in art would be a complete wrong statement and it's bloody fucking scary and no right to leave art just like that... I have been working on it for more than 3 years now. So now this dilemma sets in. I have had sleepless nights thinking about it and I have gone full 24 hours planning this shit out, BUT NOTHING SEEMS TO WORK. At one place I want to create art and at another I want to explore the world. Stupid idea is coming, don't read if you're going to mock. So after talking to my dad about it and probably reading almost every travel/art blog, I realised I can do both. I can somehow combine the two fields in the way I want. Some of you probably would think how the hell are you going to do that and you seriously think this will help you lead a stable life? Well no way, I don't want to lead a stable life, I'm not saying I want problems, I'm just saying I want to wake up everyday and not know what's in store for me. Anyone can be a legend if you can prove those people wrong, those people who tell you you won't achieve this or you're not "smart enough" to do that.

Remember this.

I saw a lot of videos today about doing what you want to do and stuff like that. "Life Doesn't Wait" by Connor Franta, "Becoming You" by Troye Sivan and "YOU" by Jacksgap were my favourites. I'll put the link to these three in the end. Get inspired from these. Moreover read about people like these or people like you. 


PS- To me: So much for leaving so many points out ,srish.


  1. I'm so glad you could figure out how to combine both of your passions.I am in fact proud that you did not succumb to the pressures of society or to the so-called rules that define what you can or cannot do.

    And to me at least, everything you said made perfect sense so don't worry about it being raw or anything.
    I love reading this straight-from-the-mind-put-into-words thingy.

    I wish you immense success. Keep doing what you love.


    1. You don't even know how much that comment made me happy. I'm so glad I know you saee.
      Thank you so so much.


  2. This is so relatable.
    Till the time I was fifteen, I had it all figured out: Hey, sweet. I'll be a journalist and then I'll expand and become a writer. Isn't that cool?
    But after I turned sixteen, I started doubting myself. Should I do this? What if I fail miserably? What if I end up poor?
    But now, almost two years later, I've realized that I can do both the things too.
    As long as you have a passion for something (in your case, your fantastic art), you can do it. No matter what the world says.
    You're passionate, Srishti, you're driven. You've got so much talent within you and you have so successfully reconciled your two passions. That's amazing. That's truly amazing.
    So just do what you're AWESOME at! :D
    Stay awesome as ever,
    Much love,
    Archie <3
    P.S. I hope I made some sense! :/

    1. Yes, yes it did.
      I was just thinking about future and that kind of stuff and I was so upset and shit but then I read your comment and you have no clue how better it made me feel.
      Thank you so much.
      I can totally relate to whatever you wrote. My perspective of life completely changed when I turned 16. Straight and Fast.

      much much love,

  3. You know that i love your blog. And I want you to know that i will support you in whatever you do. if you want to make art and travel, then do everything thatisnecessaqry to do that. And i hope we will be kept updated because, as your self-named #1 fan, i will be very sad if you don't. Just keep doing what you're doing hun, because you're amzing and yeah. And i have watched those vids a million times. Ok, that's it, bye.

    1. I have had people tell me they like my blog but this comment is by far my favourite. Thank you so much, you don't know how much this means to me.
      I love writing this blog and I do not intend on stopping anytime soon. Thank you for supporting me.

    2. No problem! And sorry for the spelling mistakes, I was so keen on writing down what I was thinking that I didn't notice.

    3. Haha, it's okay because I did not notice the spelling mistakes at all. I was so happy with whatever you said that I was just really overwhelmed.

  4. I feel like alot of people have trouble deciding what they really want to do. I love music so much that every since i was little i wanted to be a musician. But then something changed me i still loved music but i wanted to become a teacher and travel the world and help children everywhere. Its amazing how you will be able to combine the two things you love. Music will always be a part of me just like art will always be apart of you.

    1. Yeah, I have realized you won't get anything if you over analyze every bit of it. I have learnt to accept what I'm feeling and what I want from life, even if it sounds stupid.
      It's really nice to read what you write. Thank you.